Corey Vidal

YouTuber. Director. Jedi Knight.
"Who's the more foolish: the fool, or the fool who follows him?"

I’ve taken a lot of care and thought to write out this post to the best of my ability. There are a lot of important issues regarding manipulation, abuse, and consent that were recently brought to light by the YouTube and Tumblr communities. These issues have affected and involved many people, some of whom I know personally, as well as myself. It’s very painful and disappointing to see this happen to the only community that I’ve ever felt like I belong in.

I tend to be someone who acts like he has everything all figured out. But last month, as I read more and more about abuse and manipulation and consent, I didn’t feel comfortable. I didn’t know what to think or what to say, other than to just feel that there were unacceptable things going on, and I didn’t know how I fit in. I talked about it to people around me. People I love and trust and respect. I discussed everything with people who were involved and people who weren’t. But mostly I just read and listened and learned and cried.

As those around me can attest, I get really bad stress and anxiety when I can’t figure something out. I’m an analyzer and an over-thinker, and once a problem has grabbed a hold of me, I mentally obsess over knowing all the answers. It’s for this reason that I’m cautious about adding my voice to the discussion. I’m not trying to be understood; I’m trying to understand. I’m still learning. So I’m terrified to share the thoughts I have today for fear that I might disagree with my own self sometime in the future. It happens all the time. I always think that younger versions of myself are ignorant, immature idiots. How soon until I read what I’m writing right now and don’t stand by it?

But the alternative is to not be a part of a discussion that’s happening. And while I tell myself “no one wants to hear my thoughts” and that it’s easier to keep to myself, maybe I don’t need to have all the answers to influence positive change. Maybe - hopefully - just being myself as I am now is good enough. It’s all I’ve got.

A few years ago I publicly opened up about a lot of things I never thought I’d tell anyone. I told the story of how YouTube saved my life. I almost didn’t share it. I told myself that it was too embarrassing, too exposed. I told myself that no one would care about what I had to say. And even if they did, they’d just judge me or laugh at me. That no one likes me. It’s funny how years can go by and I still tell myself those same things.

With all this in mind, I have a lot I want to share; I just want to make sure I do it the right way, for the right reasons. Sharing because I feel like I have to wouldn’t be genuine. I’m sharing because I want to. It’s not about excuses, it’s about responsibility. I’ve tried my best to capture it all in a written post, but it’s just not me. I’m not a writer. If I’m going to communicate, I need to do it the way that I’ve always done it. So I’ve decided I’m going to make a video. I’ve been planning it for a few weeks already, and it’ll be going up next month.

This has been a deeply profound experience of understanding and personal growth, and I’m humbled to share it with anyone who cares to listen.

“ As someone who’s had the privilege of leading the human genome project, I’ve had the opportunity to study our own DNA instruction book at a level of detail that was never really possible before.
It’s also now been possible to compare our DNA with that of many other species. The evidence supporting the idea that all living things are descended from a common ancestor is truly overwhelming.
I would not necessarily wish that to be so, as a Bible-believing Christian. But it is so. It does not serve faith well to try to deny that.
But I have no difficulty putting that together with what I believe as a Christian because I believe that God had a plan to create creatures with whom he could have fellowship, in whom he could inspire [the] moral law, in whom he could infuse the soul, and who he would give free will as a gift for us to make decisions about our own behavior, a gift which we oftentimes utilize to do the wrong thing.
I believe God used the mechanism of evolution to achieve that goal. And while that may seem to us who are limited by this axis of time as a very long, drawn-out process, it wasn’t long and drawn-out to God. And it wasn’t random to God.
[He] had the plan all along of how that would turn out. There was no ambiguity about that. ”
Francis Collins - Director of the National Institutes of Health

The criteria of symptoms for a diagnosis of ADHD:

The American Psychiatric Association is the main professional organization of psychiatrists in the United States, and the largest psychiatric organization in the world.

In May 2013, the American Psychiatric Association released an official update (called DSM-5) to their classification and diagnostic manual for mental disorders.

Here is the updated criteria (from DSM-5) of symptoms for a diagnosis of ADHD:

People with ADHD show a persistent pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that interferes with functioning or development:

  1. Inattention: Six or more symptoms of inattention for children up to age 16, or five or more for adolescents 17 and older and adults; symptoms of inattention have been present for at least 6 months, and they are inappropriate for developmental level:
    • Often fails to give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, at work, or with other activities.
    • Often has trouble holding attention on tasks or play activities.
    • Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly.
    • Often does not follow through on instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace (e.g., loses focus, side-tracked).
    • Often has trouble organizing tasks and activities.
    • Often avoids, dislikes, or is reluctant to do tasks that require mental effort over a long period of time (such as schoolwork or homework).
    • Often loses things necessary for tasks and activities (e.g. school materials, pencils, books, tools, wallets, keys, paperwork, eyeglasses, mobile telephones).
    • Is often easily distracted
    • Is often forgetful in daily activities.

  2. Hyperactivity and Impulsivity: Six or more symptoms of hyperactivity-impulsivity for children up to age 16, or five or more for adolescents 17 and older and adults; symptoms of hyperactivity-impulsivity have been present for at least 6 months to an extent that is disruptive and inappropriate for the person’s developmental level:
    • Often fidgets with or taps hands or feet, or squirms in seat.
    • Often leaves seat in situations when remaining seated is expected.
    • Often runs about or climbs in situations where it is not appropriate (adolescents or adults may be limited to feeling restless).
    • Often unable to play or take part in leisure activities quietly.
    • Is often “on the go” acting as if “driven by a motor”.
    • Often talks excessively.
    • Often blurts out an answer before a question has been completed.
    • Often has trouble waiting his/her turn.
    • Often interrupts or intrudes on others (e.g., butts into conversations or games)

In addition, the following conditions must be met:

  • Several inattentive or hyperactive-impulsive symptoms were present before age 12 years.
  • Several symptoms are present in two or more setting, (e.g., at home, school or work; with friends or relatives; in other activities).
  • There is clear evidence that the symptoms interfere with, or reduce the quality of, social, school, or work functioning.
  • The symptoms do not happen only during the course of schizophrenia or another psychotic disorder. The symptoms are not better explained by another mental disorder (e.g. Mood Disorder, Anxiety Disorder, Dissociative Disorder, or a Personality Disorder).

Based on the types of symptoms, three kinds (presentations) of ADHD can occur:

Combined Presentation: if enough symptoms of both criteria inattention and hyperactivity-impulsivity were present for the past 6 months.

Predominantly Inattentive Presentation: if enough symptoms of inattention, but not hyperactivity-impulsivity, were present for the past six months.

Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive Presentation: if enough symptoms of hyperactivity-impulsivity but not inattention were present for the past six months.

Because symptoms can change over time, the presentation may change over time as well.

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